Ke$ha Explains The Britney Spears Lesbian Rumors

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

image for Ke$ha Explains The Britney Spears Lesbian Rumors
Ke$ha known as 'Glitter Girl' goes through three 24 oz. bottles of glitter per week.

HACIENDA HEIGHTS - Ke$ha recently spoke with Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight at a Pizza Gal Restaurant in Hacienda Heights.

The singer who had a big hit with her song "We R Who We Say We R" and then with her follow up song "We B Who We Say We B We R" told Tapioca that she has always been a big fan of Whitney Spears.

Tapioca said, "You mean Britney Spears?"

"Oh yes, I sometimes get my Wh's mixed up with my Br's" a somewhat embarrassed Ke$ha replied.

Miss Swizzle immediately asked her about the lesbian rumors regarding her and Britney Spears. Ke$ha smiled and said that she does not care if Britty Britty Brit, as she affectionately calls her, has ballooned up to 219 pounds.

Ke$ha then remarked that she does not care if BBB still lip syncs at least 90 percent of her concert songs.

And finally she informed Tapioca that she does not care if the three B girl looks a lot older than Jessica Simpson even though Spears is actually one year younger than Simpson.

Swizzle interrupted her and asked her about the lesbian rumors.

Ke$ha said she was getting to that. She said that the other day she had a daydream that Spears came over to her house and the two went skinny dipping in her exquisite salt water pool that is equipped with state-of-the-art strobe lights, a flashing laser beam enhancer, and an imported Danish stereo system that can be listened to while swimming under water.

She smiled and as she sensuously touched her lap she said that she had actually fallen in love with BS, or Britty Britty Brit within six minutes of getting into her fantasy.

Ke$ha said that she made the mistake of telling her maid, Chalupa Salsa about her Britney Spears lesbian fantasy and the next thing she knows it is all over on Facebook.

Ke$ha said that she actually fired Miss Salsa and turned her in to the Department of Immigration and Chalupa is now on an empty banana boat on her way back to her home in Ciudad Banana Peel, Costa Rica.

Suggested Reading: "Ke$ha and Why I Legally Changed The S In My Name To A $" by Ke$ha, Left Coast Mirror Magazine, March 2011.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more