WASILLA, Alaska - Levi Johnston, the ex-future son-in-law of the ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has just announced that he plans on running for mayor of the town of Wasilla.
Johnston, who got back together with his baby's mother, Bristol Palin, said that he dumped Bristol for a second time because her mother has a horrendous attitude and she did not like the fact that he told her that he is a registered Democrat.
Levi said that "Snowflake" Palin told him that she could put up with him being a polar bear poacher, an igloo tagger, or even a reindeer rustler, but when he told her that he was a Democrat she just lost it and went absolutely ballistic.
Johnston said that for all the years that he has known the Palin's he has noticed that Mrs. Palin is nothing more than a cheap fake fagaloosa.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: A fagaloosa is an old Eskimo word which means one who talks through her mouth, but whose words actually come out of her ass.]
Levi was asked if he thinks he has a snowballs chance in hell of winning. He smiled and said that he liked the mixed pun metaphor. He then got serious and said that he has no idea who the GOP candidate will be but he guarantees that he will kick his or her ass all the way down to Seattle.
SIDENOTE: Word on the streets of Wasilla is that the Palins have donated $4,000 towards the GOP candidates campaign fund. Levi laughed and said that his ex-girlfriend, Kathy "The Red Cougar" Griffin has already promised that she will donate $100,000 towards his campaign fund.