When Hamish and twin brother "Scotty" broke into the home of singer Susan Boyle, they thought she was gone on another singing tour. However, they were wrong.
Scheduled to sing in Paris, the French took one look at her and suggested she wear a burqa!
"But I am Scottish!"
"You can remove it in the low lighting near the stage but on your way over, please wear a burqa."
"Aweell, you know what you can do with your burqa! I'm going home."
"But the people?"
"Stuff the people up your arse!"
So that was how Susan Boyle came to come home early and sent the twins running into the closet near the bathroom.
"It wert arful", stated Hamish to the police later. Ms. Boyle began undressing almost immediately to get into her shower and we were trapped.
Still in shock, his twin brother would only point.
"I think Scotty is blind", stated Hamish. "And no wonder. It was shit, shower and shave the mustache. I'm thankful she doesn't shave elsewhere. It would have finished poor Scotty."
"It was when she began singing that old Exile song, "I want to kiss you all over" that I began retching and she heard me. That's when she ran to the phone and called you."
At last report, Hamish had recovered with the help of a hypnotist.
Scotty, after suddenly having his sight returned, stated that he had 'second sight' and is now in a Trappist Monk Cloister.
