Written by Bureau

Sunday, 16 May 2010

image for Susan Boyle Wets Them After Death Hand Reaches Out!

Susan Boyle, who has been going to a psychiatrist for some time now, even predating her launch toward Stardom on "Britain's Got Talent", finally told a member of the press about her nightmares.

Boyle doesn't like to have ten people hounding her with questions all at once, so her policy is to talk with one person from a rotating group of publicity people and let them tell the story to others waiting outside.

So far this policy has worked well, except for the one agent who told everyone else a whopper that Boyle was pregnant by Simon Cowell.

Susan retold the story of when, as a young girl in Scotland, she would go with her family on a long trek to the grave of one of their ancestors. It had taken awhile, but Susan had been the one to spot the old grave marker that could still be made out.

However, just as she got there, the ground had softened and Susan was on the chubby side so the grave fell in.

"It was awful! It must have dropped two feet and I was suddenly seeing bones. Gives me the shivers to repeat now."

"So you have nightmares about it?"

"At first I didn't. It turned out that the bones were from a dead animal and I was still much above the coffin or body. But the bones reminded me of a human hand, it did."

"It was LATER when I watched that horrible Stephen King movie "Carrie" that it all came back. Now I have nightmares at least a couple of nights a week...that a hand suddenly comes up out of the grave like it's death itself wanting to shake hands. I use a rubber sheet on the bed at home. Now I sleep in the big diapers too."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Susan Boyle

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