Cheltenham Festival will be cancelled says famous whorse whisperer

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 14 March 2010

image for Cheltenham Festival will be cancelled says famous whorse whisperer
No lucky rabbit foot can reverse the grim prognostication...

Gloucestershire - (Shergar Mess): A death star sigil that has suddenly appeared on World Hurdle hopeful War of Attrition's hind quarters has sent fans of the Ryanair boss-owned gelding absolutely ballistic.

Michael O'Leary's racing team is having none of it, however, blaming silly superstition-mad nutcases for spreading meaningless paranoia.

"Just how daft can you get?" O'Leary asked, anxiously stroking his lucky rabbit foot and bunch of four-leafed clover.

"Of course Cheltenham won't be cancelled, that's my banker bet of the week!"

Others, however are not so sure.

A hexed Ides of March Pisces new moon on Monday will trigger events leading to the cancellation of jump racing's annual codpiece, er...showpiece! - according to one famous whorse sign interpreter.

The canny millionaire ex-bookie, Dave 'Mug' Punter. stands to rake in a fortune after taking out an insurance bet of £1,000 at 1,000-1 that the entire five day meeting will go down the pan.

"I blame that dumb Queen Mother Triumph Hurdle nonsense," Punter explained, "the name's so long past its sell-by it's hexing the entire meeting."

There's only one Wille Carson.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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