Music publishers across America were involved in a ferocious bidding war yesterday over a notepad containing song lyrics and poems supposedly written by Britney Spears when she was nine years old.
The Jimmy Mook Publishing Corp eventually lodged a winning bid of $329 for the notebook, an acquisition which the corporation hopes will secure its future.
The lyrics were discovered stuffed down the back of an old couch which had been left at the town dump in Flickaville Nebraska. Town dump superintendent David Harleyson told reporters that he was checking the old couch for loose change when he stumbled across the notebook and realized he'd struck gold.
Harleyson immediately took the notebook to his lawyer, Dean Flustercook and served ownership papers. When Britney did not turn up to collect the notebook after seven days, Harleyson became the rightful owner.
Initial reports indicate that the notebook contained songs entitled 'My Barbie Doll Got Legs', 'Put The Tea Kettle On Daddy', 'My Doggy Got A Big Bone', and 'Momma This Apple Pie Tastes Real Good', among others.
According to Kip Knightley, CEO of the Jimmy Mook Publishing Corp, several music industry luminaries, such as Pepperpot Johnson, Smokey Yodeller, and Kamikaze Joe out of the Imperialettistas had shown interest in further developing the works.
Britney Spears confessed that she had no recollection of writing any of the material, or of stuffing it down the back of a couch. She also stated that she had no recollection of ever having lived in Flickaville, Nebraska.
Dean Flustercook stated that his client David Harleyson was happy with the manner in which the transaction had been handled, and had signed a waiver to that effect.
David Harleyson got so intoxicated spending the proceeds that he pissed his pants in Big Elmo's Saloon in Flickaville Nebraska.
More as we get it.
