Usher Mentors American Idol's Top Ten

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 31 March 2010


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Lady Gaga performing as Amy Winehouse at a party for American Idol's Ryan Seacrest.

HOLLYWOOD - Usher appeared on American Idol and mentored the final 10 contestants.

Usher even suggested to judge Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson that he needs to work on four things. One he needs to stop saying "Yo, yo, so check it out dawg" every time before he critiques a contestant.

Two he needs to stop booing fellow judge Simon Cowell at the beginning of the show when they introduce him.

Three he really needs to stop using that spray on tan stuff since truth be told, "The Black Dawg" does not really need to be any darker than he already is.

And four "The Yo Yo Bro" needs to work on his voice. For some reason this year it has become quite pitchy.

Usher is one of the top soul rhythm and blues singers in the world and he has sold over 45 million records including 17 million in the tiny African country of Upper Ugamgamboonda where his maternal grandfather Ushi Yushi Gampetta, 101, resides.

Usher, whose real given name is Theater Usher Raymond IV, has won five grammies and four grampies along with the Best Artist of The Decade Award and Black Dude With The Most Black and White Girlfriends Award.

The Dallas native told Ryan Seacrest in strictest confidence that in his opinion Crystal Bowersox will become the next Janis Joplin, Lee DeWyze will become the next Bruce Springsteen, and Tim Urban will become the next Elmer McNipplefaust. Who? My point exactly.

In other news. Las Vegas oddsmakers are giving odds of 4 to 1 that Lady Gaga does not have a penis.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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