Tiger Woods Reveals That His Wife Elin Nordigren's "Landing Strip" Could Easily Accommodate A C5A Cargo Plane

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 4 March 2010

image for Tiger Woods Reveals That His Wife Elin Nordigren's "Landing Strip" Could Easily Accommodate A C5A Cargo Plane
A photo of a C5A cargo plane. (Photo courtesy of Warren Beatty).

ORLANDO - After three months of keeping quiet Eldrick Tont Woods has revealed to CNN's Larry King the real reason he cheated on his wife.

Tiger said that he had promised Elin that he would never reveal the real reason but only if she moved back in with him and promised that she would not divorce him.

El Tigre (The Tiger) told Larry that it appears that Elin has no intention of ever residing underneath the same roof with him again.

He said that he wants everyone to know that the real reason why he ran around with so many women was because of the fact that his wife had a gigantic 'landing strip.'

Larry asked him what was so bad about that, and added that a lot of women have damn big old "LS's."

King noted that two of his seven ex-wives had 'landing strips' that were so big that they could literally accommodate the entire air force of the countries of Wales, Iceland, Greenland, and Peru.

Tiger laughed and said, "Dammit Lar, now those were two big as hell women you had there."

"You're telling me. In the years we were married I managed to lose two rings, a watch, and a billfold to their big old pink palaces."

Larry then added that he did find the billfold about two years later but the money had somehow mysteriously vanished.

In other news. Lionsdoor Pictures in association with MGM has announced that they will be filming a sequel to the classic Wizard of Oz. The movie will star Lindsay Lohan as Dorothy and the film's title will be "The Wizard of Oz - Dorothy Returns To Kansas And Gets Gang-Tickled By The Farm Hands."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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