ORLANDO, Florida - Tiger Woods' much anticipated press conference was nothing more than a golf joke; and a bad one at that.
TigerBoy did not really apologize and all that he basically said was that he does not remember things happening the way that the 14 money-hungry white women did.
Woods said that he knows that the only reason that those women even talked to him was because they all knew that he has about $800 million.
He pointed out that if he was just merely Eldrick Tont Woods, the KIA car salesman, none of those attractive white ladies would have even given him a stick of gum, much less their most intimate possession, their nicely trimmed playpen.
After his press conference the only thing he said was that he can hardly wait to get back to playing in golf tournaments so that he can start making tons and tons of money to pay for the dozen or so settlements he is expecting.
SIDENOTE: Tiger and his amazingly patient and forgiving wife told an Orlando cab driver that they were flying to Dubai where they will hook up with British footballer John Terry and his wife Toni and get some pointers on how they were able to salvage their marriage after John got caught putting his pecker (putter) were it did not belong.
