Los Angeles, CA - Having declared on July 1st that California is in a 'fiscal emergency', Governor Arnold Shwarzenneger remarked that 'Caulifornia' and the city of Los Angeles cannot afford to underwrite the costs of security for the upcoming funeral of Michael Jackson. As a result, Governor Shwarzenneger has undertaken preliminary discussions with Sheikh Abdulla bin Hamad Al-Khalifa of Bahrain to move the funeral and burial to his country.
Said Sheikh Abdulla, "We will put up a very large tent at the end of the runway at Sheik Isa Air Base and have the burial there. We can allocate 10,000 acres for this project. It's all desert out there."
"Above his final resting place, we will build a statue of Michael Jackson, 100 feet high, holding an umbrella, adding a further 25 feet in height, and with a sufficient circumference to block out the sun. Michael didn't like the sun. We will cover 50% of this endeavour, but require others to 'belly up to the bar'."
Corporate donations from the United States may be forthcoming if the Sheik agrees to allow the Americans to developed the surrounding property into a PGA standard golf course, complete with condos and boating facilities at the nearby coastal waters. Talks are ongoing.
