SPOOF Language

Funny story written by Madison Cade

Thursday, 20 December 2007

image for SPOOF Language
Beloved Urma, at rest

Kyrgyz Republic - As the Scientists for the Prevention of Outdated and Foolish Language (SPOOF Language) prepare to meet for the 2007 World Summit, a last-minute participant has requested to join the Summit and to push their agenda to the top. The effort has caused a mid-east ruckus and global attention.

At their initial conference in 2001, SPOOF made great progress when they formally banned the terms "littler, stupider, dis-attached, and tump." They also harshly criticized the over-zealous use of the word, "synergy."

In 2002, on the heels of ESPN hitting Kyrgy's Southern neighbor Jajikistan, SPOOF debated for three long days before banning the term and lashing out at all that used the phrase, "Pay Fer Few."

In one of the most memorable summits, SPOOF reversed it's year-old decision and agreed that the phrase "I could care less" was acceptable if stated with a hint of sarcasm. Stated mater-of-factish, the speaker must state, "I couldn't care less."

Underway at this moment, SPOOF leaders are hearing from President Kurmanbek Bakiyev, Kyrgyz Republic. Apparently, the genesis for Bakiyev's passion for proper phraseology was the loss of his prize camel, Urma. According to a Kyrgyz soldier and driver, a camel farmer loaded
Bakiyev's new work horse on his Toyota and stated, "She ain't goin' nowhere." Bakiyev is urging support by claiming this is as much of a safety issue as it is a auditory enhancement. No longer will men in the U.S. be able to pack that wrap in/or their truck, tug the string, and say, "It ain't going nowhere." If approved, the ban will take effect Jan 1, 2008.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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