Opponents of the Government have acted angrily to new laws setting down jail terms of just 2 years for a range of motoring offences.
Smoking, phoning or using game machines while at the wheel could now result in 2-year jail sentences, but anti-driving lobbyists think the penalties are far too lenient.
They are demanding the death penalty for these abhorrent crimes and no less than 15 year's hard labour for double parking.
The strongest attack has come from youth group Cycle for Anarchy who think car drivers are being let off too easily. Spokesman Lycra Ballsview told TheSpoof.com that motorists should be hounded off the road. "Innocent cyclists who ignore red lights, weave through traffic and turn blind corners without stopping are being cut down by motorists who don't realise we own the roads", he said.
Shadow Chancellor George Osborne has called the new laws "lame" and said that massive fines for death by dangerous driving would be far more effective.
Transport Minister Stephen Ladyman has defended the new laws. "They have not been introduced to save lives" he assured us, but to satisfy my insatiable craving for attention".