Paris Hilton Jets to Rwanda to Join Flood of Adoptive Parents

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Thursday, 27 September 2007

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Paris wants to adopt a blonde haired, blue eyed Rwandan baby

Paris Hilton is "leaving on a jet plane" as she heads to the African country of Rwanda. The purpose of the trip? Paris wants to show that she has completed her rehabilitation and recovery. "I also want to help people and, like, everyone is adopting those little babies right now."

Paris plans to adopt a Rwandan child and raise him/her as an American, with all the benefits of the silver spoon. "I think there is only so far I can go with Tinkerbell. I mean, she keeps running away and I don't think she really understands English. She'll also never really live to be old enough to legally drink, and a baby and I can go bar hopping together."

When asked if she had any preferences in a baby, Paris said "I want one cuter than Madonna's or Angelina's or any of those others that came over here. They ended up getting black babies. I want mine with blond hair and blue eyes maybe some freckles."

When told that all African babies would be black, and that she would not find any white orphans, Hilton was upset. "I've seen white people in Africa before! There was a blonde woman who got together with a blonde man in The Gods Must Be Crazy! There were those blondes in Born Free! What about all those guys who arrested Mandela and stuff? They're white!"

After reassurances that there were not going to be any babies that matched her search criteria in Rwanda, Paris had second thoughts about the trip. "What about Cambodia? I think Angelina got a baby there too. Do they have any cute babies or are they all black ones too?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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