Draft Dodger Lectures Generals

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 4 October 2025

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"I want you!"

President Bone Spurs and his Secretary of Defense, the former television personality, lectured an audience composed of every general and admiral in the United States military and navy.

Who was holding the fort while they sat in the audience? Doesn't matter. It would be a great television event, and the former television personalities would show their stuff.

However, a better television event would be if the Epstein Files were released and each child abuser's name were made public. But the Epstein Files might just as well be down in Davy Jones' Locker.  

So the White House tenet who dodged the draft by claiming bone spurs five times received no applause when he appeared on the stage and walked across to the podium. Silence. Quiet. Just his foot steps. It was described as a muted response. More silence. It was a long way to the podium. Finally, he reached the waiting podium. Whew. He was there, just like Chauncey Gardiner.

None of the Generals or Admirals walked out. They sat and listened, and maybe silently diagnosed. Elon Musk purchased the White House for Donald Trump. With enough money (and it would take millions), even Donald Duck or Wile E. Coyote could win the White House. This time it was Donald Trump.

Sounding out phonetically, instead of pronouncing Abraham for Lincoln's first name, he said, "Ah-bra-ham," which sounded like a woman's undergarment and a ham sandwich. Maybe he was hungry and distracted? Need a hamburger fix? 

In defense of his mispronunciation, he went on to wax poetically that his pronunciation of Ah-bra-ham was more respectful, and he liked saying his name that way, and yada, yada, yada. 

The Generals and Admirals remained silent. They knew he goofed. One for their autobiographies.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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