WEST HOLLYWOOD - (Spoof News) - In a move that has left the world scratching their heads, rumor has it that the star of "Dukes of Hazzard," Jessica Simpson, is now romantically linked to a wealthy oligarch from Mother Russia.
Simpson, known for her love of cowgirl boots and Daisy Dukes, has fallen head over heels for the older, wiser and rich oligarch, Orgun Stanisvolchek. When reached for comment, Simpson simply cooed, "He had me at 'nyet.'"
Stanisvolchek, who celebrated his 80th birthday on National Casserole Dish Day, made his fortune in the diet vodka business, a beverage so light that drinking it is like swallowing air.
According to insiders, the couple's love story started when they met at a Moscow fashion show. Simpson was modeling a line of beaver-fur-lined boots, and Stanisvolchek was showcasing his latest collection of top-secret Russian anti-gravity parkas.
"Jessica was smitten from the moment she saw him. She was so taken by his charm and accent that she didn't even realize he was wearing a tutu," said a source close to Simpson.
Meanwhile, the media is abuzz with the news of their romance, with some even dubbing the duo as "The Beauty and the Bolshevik." However, despite the media frenzy, Simpson remains smitten with her new beau.
As for Simpson and Stanisvolchek's future together, only time will tell if their love will withstand the test of time and international politics. But one thing's for sure - they'll never run out of diet vodka.
STORY TIDBIT: In a strange turn of events, Simpson has reportedly allowed Stanisvolchek to name her hooha "Comrade Beaver."
