Stormy Daniels Is Selling Creme Eggs

Funny story written by Jake de Fake

Thursday, 6 April 2023

image for Stormy Daniels Is Selling Creme Eggs
Not only does it taste authentic, it's the real thing.

Celebrity News: Once upon a time, Creme Eggs only appeared in shops at Easter. Stormy Daniels just brought them up to a new level- "Bam!!!"

A witty entrepreneur Daniels marketed the eggs under her famous name and called them Délicieuse Me'.

Now it's the norm to spot them stocked on supermarket shelves along with all the other major candy brands.

In fact, Daniels has a Halloween edition of 'goo nipples' that bear a striking resemblance to the favourite confectionary item with the exception of a nipple added. But exactly what is that 'goo' we are tucking into? The question seems to be perplexing sweet-toothed Twitter users, according to one report.

One social media user declared: "I have a huge problem weighing on my mind: what is the substance in the middle of a Creme Egg called? What is it? A goo?" It's sweet, salty and smells fishy.

Daniels Inc. describes their popular treat as, "a milk chocolate shell with a soft secretion centre". A TikTok user took a closer look at the goo in a recent video, sharing what it is actually made of.

Abbey, known online as @abbeythefoodscientist, revealed the Creme Egg’s contents, saying: "The inside is a mixture of sugar, corn syrup, water, and Daniels vagina secretions also called "Délicieuse Me"

A company spokesman said that Daniels lab-grown vagina tissue, produced with a DNA sequence from Daniels real vagina produces 5 tons of Daniels authentic vagina secretions each day which is filtered to remove the vagina cells then it's turned into a sweet fondant to fill the eggs.

While sweet toothed social media user replied: "Okay I want to go eat a massive bowl of it, now that I know what it is."

However, not everyone was impressed. One person shocked fellow chocolate fans by saying: "Am I the only one who doesn’t like the filling now?"

The chocolate giants claim this is not just an Easter treat restricted to the spring festival. Over 500 million Creme Eggs are made all year-round, they say, with a massive two-thirds being eaten in the UK alone by children. "That is 3.5 Creme Eggs for people in this country to enjoy," they say.

The question is whether it's legal.The food and drug administration says that it's perfectly legal based on the fact that Daniels has offered her vagina secretions as a food item and it's no different from bull testicles that are sold in some ethnic stores. Breakfast sausage's have ground up animal genitals with secretions included.

This came as a shock to some social media followers.

"Just found out that Délicieuse Me creme Eggs have got loads of whipped up pussy juice and sugar. Really upset about this, had no idea," said one worried user. Another said: "As a lover of Délicieuse Me creme eggs, I consider it a great feat of strength when I only ate one today after discovering the truth. #my-guts-are-churning."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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