She-Hulk Weighs In On The Controversy Surrounding ‘The Little Mermaid’

Funny story written by Uncle DD

Thursday, 30 March 2023

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It ain't easy being green!

Los Angeles, CA – (Announcer) Welcome everyone. Welcome to the show. We’re attempting a new format here, where the actors and actresses appear in costume or in some other likeness of the screen character they portray...

(She-Hulk) Fuck that! Fuck! I’m fuckin’ She-Hulk! How many fuckin’ times I gotta tell ya?

(Announcer) Okay She-Hulk. You’re She-Hulk. I’m sorry. You can put me down now… And my desk… Thank you. So what brings you to the show?

(She-Hulk) I’m here to dispel a little myth.

(Announcer) You mean about your show? Are you saying there’s gonna be a Season 2?

(She-Hulk) No fucker! People hated it, especially episode eight when Daredevil came on. I told them they should’ve gotten the actor from Netflix. But do they listen? No… I’m here about a different Disney character. Ariel from ‘The Little Mermaid’.

(Announcer) Oh.

(She-Hulk) Yeah. I know Ariel. Personally. She’s not black or white. She’s green. And I want to play her in my next role.

(Announcer) What are you talking about? Ariel is a Disney creation based off a story by Hans Christian Anderson. She’s fictitious.

(She-Hulk) How the fuck do you know?! You ever been to the bottom of the deep blue sea? Has Hans Christian Anderson? No! If Ariel weren’t real then why would all these jackasses out here be yellin’ about misappropriation cuz now she’s black...?

(Announcer) Good question.

(She-Hulk) The world Hans described is located in the Mariana Trench in the Pacific Ocean, hence why I chose to attend law school at UCLA instead of fucking Harvard so I could visit and hang out there whenever I wanted. I’m a great swimmer too, in case you didn’t know. And mermaids are green. So they can hide on the sea floor and not be seen. Well I’ve seen them. I know them. I party with them. And they’re all green like me. Not white you fucking assholes.

(Announcer) Well there you have it. Ariel is green.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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