HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The star of "Hell On Wheels," Anson Mount, told Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo that he is as happy as a bull in a herd of 95 cows.
Mount, who portrays railroad foreman Cullen "No Bullshit" Bohannon, said that the reason is because producers of the award-winning wild west show have just signed President Barack Obama to star in the railroad western.
Sources within the show said that President Obama will be portraying a former South Carolina slave, who after being freed won $35,000 in a high stake's poker game in Savannah, Georgia.
To give you an idea of what that amount would be in 2023 dollars, the figure amount is $983,000, or enough money to back then buy the old west towns of Dodge City (Kansas), Tombstone (Arizona), and Deadwood (North Dakota) and still have about $125 left over.
Obama's character LaQuanta Johnson-Jackson won with four kings and an ace. He celebrated by buying the entire saloon (27 male patrons, 13 whores, and a tenderfoot hermaphrodite from New Jersey), a round of Billy The Kid Tequila.
SIDENOTE: President Obama told Pico de Gallo that he will be donating his actor's fee to "The Home For Unemployed Former US Presidents."
