Celine Dion Is Asked To Be The Poster Woman For Adult Female Anorexia Nervosa

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 10 March 2022

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Celine revealed that her weekly food bill has gone down to $1.85.

LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - The Alpha Beta News Agency has just revealed that the American Federation of Adult Female Anorexia Nervosa has contacted famed singer Celine Dion about becoming the official spokeswoman for the dreaded disease.

ABNA writer Mimosa Sabrosa pointed out for those who may not know, AFAFAN, as it is commonly called, strikes older adult females between the ages of 41 and 61.

It has been described as a woman thinking that she is actually about 45 pounds heavier than she actually is because that is what she is told by her husband, her boyfriend, her dentist, and even her gynecologist.

This affliction was first discovered in Venice, Italy, where pasta, spaghetti, lasagna, and pizza are pretty much the staple.

It is no secret that Celine Dion, who presently weighs a tremendously skinny 71 pounds has been suffering from the eating disorder ever since Thanksgiving day of 2019.

Miss Dion's press agent has said that most days, Celine will only eat two grapes for breakfast, a pretzel (without the salt) for lunch, and seven pinto beans for dinner.

SIDENOTE: When Celine's press agent was asked if Celine will agree to be the official spokesperson for Adult Female Anorexia Nervosa, she replied by saying, "Do beavers build dams."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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