Celine Dion Says She’s Down to 67 Pounds

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Monday, 9 November 2020

image for Celine Dion Says She’s Down to 67 Pounds
Bedroom Pillow Talk reports that if Celine gets any skinnier, they are going to be able to use her as a swizzle stick.

LAS VEGAS – (Celebrity Satire) – Celine Dion has just admitted that, yes, it’s true, she is now down to 67 pounds.

The Canadian songbird remarked that she has been border-line anorexic since 2007, and just since September, she has become totally anorexic, ingesting only about 90 calories per day.

She told Fajita San Guacamole, with Hollywood Innuendo, that her goal is to get down to 54 pounds.

When asked why this was, she took a drink from her bottle of diet water, and replied that she is starting to look fat, and pointed out that men don’t want chubby women who weigh 85 or more pounds.

One of Celine's back up dancers expressed that, pretty soon, Celine the String Bean, as she is called behind her back, will be able to buy her clothes in the toddlers section of a children’s clothing store.

San Guacamole reported that Celine's gynecologist told her that the singer is now wearing a training bar.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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