LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – The Las Vegas Roulette-Gazette newspaper, reports that world-famous singer Celine Dion has lost a tremendous amount of weight and now looks like a damn white drinking straw.
A close friend of the songstress said that Miss Dion has just about totally had her two itty bitty titties disappear before her very eyes.
The friend, who said she has seen Celine naked on 14 occasions, just since New Year’s eve, commented that the Canadian songbird now resembles an anorexic canary.
SIDENOTE: Info guro Andy Cohen noted that Ms. Dion now has to wear a training bra 24/7, since her boobies now resemble two tiny pink M&M’s.
