DURANGO, Colorado - (Satire News) – 21-year-old Ashley Hibnocker is one of the happiest 21-year-old girls in the entire country.
The Hullabaloo News Agency's Abel Zorro, reports that Ashley’s grandmother, Bernice Bicka, 63, gave her favorite granddaughter, a pound of Guadalajara Giggle Grass, which is one of the finest strains of cannabis produced in the Republic of Mexico.
Ashley’s parents Hank and Sausalita Hibnocker wish that Granny Bernice had given their daughter a gift certificate to Victoria’s Secret, or a flat top guitar, or even a new Iphone Grandisimo 3.
Sausalita HIbnocker told Abel Zorro that the Durango authorities have issued her mom (Bernice) a total of 7 warnings about buying grass from Mexico and bringing it over "Don The Con" Trump's worthless, useless, waste of $19 billion wall on a drone to avoid having to pay the excise duty tax on it.
Meanwhile, Ashley is already planning on inviting 25 of her closest friends to attend a Potapalooza Romp Party at Granny Bernice’s double-wide trailer.