HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania - (Satire News) - The Pennsylvania Senate has voted to outlaw the use of the word “Pussy,” after hundreds of evangelicals, old fogies, sticks-in-the-mud, and old maids demanded the word be banned.
One old maid, 79-year-old Larlanna Puttfax, who proudly said she is still a virgin, stated to iRumors reporter Ling Chow Rangoon, that every time she hears the “P” word she literally pees in her industrial Depends, and she just got darn tired of walking around in a state of dampness.
Another old fogey, Carsha Magillafuddi, 84, simply said that Scotland banned the use of the cunt euphemism back in 1999.
She was quickly reminded that Scotland’s Supreme Court had reversed the 1999 decision three months later, after millions of hard-drinking Scottish males complained.
Meanwhile, a Pittsburgh prostitute, Nellie "Nookie" Nashaletti, remarked that she is still going to use the word "Pussy" and no motherfu*ker is going to make her stop.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: A spokesperson for the state of Pennsylvania said that law enforcement authorities will NOT be enforcing the new law, which calls for a fine of $3 for the first offense and $2 for any subsequent offense after that.]
