WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Vox Populi’s Ichabod Fernandez has learned the real reason why the host of Late Night With Conan O’Brien decided to hang up his talk show microphone.
The 58-year-old redhead told Fernandez that lots of people think that TBS fired him for the jokes he made about the pope, Kim Jong-un, and Lebron James, but the truth of the matter is that he was offered a much better job and he could not resist it.
O’Brien, who stands 6-foot-6-inches tall and only weighs 142, has been compared to Abraham Lincoln, a white Wilt Chamberlain, and a red-headed Ann Coulter.
Conan, said that he actually owes his new job to Vice-President Kamala Harris who first suggested him for the job.
He stated that he will personally write all of President Biden’s speeches, as well as all of his jokes, one-liners, double entendres, non-sequiturs, and knock-knock jokes.
V.P. Harris, told Conan that the job pays $800,000, but noted that she could pull some strings and get the yearly salary kicked up to $3.8 million, plus dental, meal allowances, and free postage stamps.