CRAWFISH BELLY, Louisiana – (Satire News) – iRumors has disclosed that the patriarch of the Robertson family of "Duck Dynasty" reality TV fame, Phil Robertson, has been apprehended in the tiny bayou village of Crawfish Belly for poaching.
The long-bearded Robertson was allegedly caught in the possession of 900 female Louis XIV Monster Shrimp. These shrimps are the most expensive in the world, and can sell at fancy 5-star restaurants for as much as $28.95 each.
The female Louis XIV Monster Shrimp was the favorite food of French actress Brigitte Bardot, who was known to eat at least half-a-dozen-or-so a day.
When Robertson was still in college, he was alleged to have plied the famous French actress by giving her a dozen of the Louisiana delicacies as a birthday present.
Word is, that even noted Brooklyn mafioso boss Salvatore Goombalini, who is an acquaintance of Robertson, even got Miss Bardot to attend a New York Yankees game with him by giving her two dozen frozen shrimps, and a check for $10,000.
Phil Robertson was released on a $20 bond, which was set by his father-in-law, popular Cajun Judge Jean Claude Wewe. He will also be on probation for 12 hours.