It’s rumored that Prince Harry is busy digging a tunnel to get back home to England, and that he is presently under Nebraska. How he plans to cross the Atlantic isn’t clear. Palace sources whisper that brother William promised to have a speedboat waiting for him when he surfaces in New York.
If the speedboat is fast enough, and he makes the Atlantic crossing in one day, he won’t have to worry about fishing for his supper, but he will pack a supply of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
The Royal Navy offered to help with their submarine fleet, but it’s believed Harry can make the trip back home similar to his trip to the South Pole.
Learning about all those rumors, which he referred to as vicious, vile, and vexing, Harry labeled the tunnel dig as a heap of vindictive nonsense, adding, if he wanted to visit his place of birth again, he’d just charge a first class British Air ticket on his dad's voluminous account.
“So who has to dig tunnels, anyway?”
Harry went on to explain, without any vagueness, that he was under fire with real bullets in Afghanistan, where he flew helicopters and fought the enemy, and had graduated from Sandhurst Military Academy, started the successful Invictus Games, played lots of winning Polo, and that the Queen’s grandson doesn't have to dig a tunnel to visit England.
Though wearing a miner’s hat with a lamp, the rumors were soon laid to rest. However, there was an empty speedboat anchored in New York called Vengeance and pointed toward England.
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