HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – There is a bit of concern in the world of American Idol as one of the contestants who was rejected is extremely upset with one of the show's judges.
Contestant Birdy F. Kyrzyk from Prickly Pear, Arizona, told Hollywood Vis-à-Vis that she was embarrassed and devastated at the critique she received from Katy Perry.
Birdy sang a self-penned song titlted "He Started Kissing Me On The Patio, and Ended Up Kissing Me On The Badonkadonk". After she finished, Lionel Richie and Luke Bryan both stayed silent.
Katy, however, made several faces, and then told Birdy that she was the most horrible singer that she had ever heard.
Perry, who has had such hits as “I Kissed a Girl”, “I Necked With a Girl”, and the most recent “Hey, I’m a Girl”, went on to say that Birdy was so bad, that her left ear was actually bleeding.
Katy added that she couldn't find the beat if it was sitting on her boobs. As, as for the pitch, it was MIA. The new-mama remarked that her vibrato was so loud it could drown out a lightning bolt.
Birdy began to weep, and then cry, and then wail like she was being attacked by killer bees. She even tried to slash her wrist with a handy Dixie cup.
The next day, Hollywood Vis-à-Vis reported that Birdy had hired the services of famed attorney and Nancy Pelosi-lookalike, Gloria Allred.
The Arizona native divulged that she had filed a $955,000 lawsuit against American Idol, Hercules Brand Condoms, and Katy Perry.
Katy was asked for a comment, and replied that she had hired Gloria Allred’s daughter, Ginger, to defend her.
American Idol host Ryan Seacrest was asked for a comment, and remarked that Birdy had a pretty smile, mesmerizing eyes, and one sweet-looking cute little ass.