DETROIT – (Satire News) – Popular country singer and man who needs to stop acting like an 8-year-old spoiled brat, Morgan Wallen, has just entered The Henry & Betty Ford Clinic.
Twenty-Seven-Year-Old Wallen, who has had a string of big hits including “I Fell For Her As I Watched Her Strut Her Stuff On The Mechanical Bull”, “I Ain’t Never Done Seen a Pair of Daisy Duke Britches Look Better Than They Look on Her Ass”, and “She Doesey-Doed Into My Heart, and Now Her Belly Looks Like a Basketball."
Morgan, who last year won the Tennessee State Whiskey-Drinking Contest, as well as the Mason-Dixon Grits-Swallowing Contest, has allegedly been addicted to cornbread for the past 2 years.
He said at first he was just eating about 4 or 5 slices a day, but then after he got hit in the head with a commemorative Civil War mini-cannonball at a high school reunion picnic, he went up all the way to 14 pieces.
Morgan said he went to see a food therapist, but her hemmin’ and hawin’ just made his addiction go up to 16 slices.
Next he got hypnotized by a sorceress in San Francisco, but that just made him want to wear lavender cowboy boots and ride sidesaddle.
One of Morgan’s many girlfriends said he even traveled down to Lake Charles, Louisiana and met up with a Cajun voodoo woman. She tried all kinds of voodoo stuff, but to no avail.
And so after getting up to an 18 slice a day habit, his close friend Cyrus Tillard, convinced him to check into the Henry & Betty Ford Clinic in Detroit.
Wallen’s agent, talked to Wallen and he plans to write an album during the seven weeks stay at the Ford Clinic.
Morgan said that the album’s name is tentatively titiled, “Damnit, I Gots Ta Ease Up On My Cornbread Chompin’ Before It Starts Effectin’ My Hooha Hankerin’”