Donald J. Trump says he’s had enough abuse, and Donald J. is calling it quits. He is resigning: “The 2020 election was stolen from me, like a car-jack and Mike Pence can take over. He'll manage a superbly terrific job, living here in the White House for the next thirty days, and he can pardon me for any future crimes the Democrats might invent and accuse me of performing while I was in office.”
After signing off in the Oval Office, Trump orchestrated a Rose Garden pardon, followed by being awarded both the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal by the new President (for the next thirty days) Mike Pence.
Be Best would also be awarded a ten-pound bag of extra strength White House espresso coffee for keeping the windows clean.
After Trump signed off in the Oval Office, and his signature was witnessed, certified, and notarized, he noticed that the Marine Corps Band wasn’t waiting in the Rose garden. Hmmm?
And there weren’t any seats set out for the invited guests to watch the pardon and award ceremony. Hmmm, again? Trump asked why.
“Yours was not to ask the reason why. Yours was to resign and fly," said President Mike (for the next thirty days) Pence. Adding, “I intend to run in 2024, and pardoning you would make me fail and Joe Biden a shoo-in instead. This way, Biden will be regarded as the persecutor instead, and I’ll be Jonny up at-bat.”
“Well, in that case, I take my resignation back, and I’ll stay president for the next thirty days."
“Too late, you’re out. I hear Putin needs a new driver. Cheers!”
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