Composer of modern music now just throwing the cement mixer down the stairs

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Saturday, 1 August 2020

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I don't want these new sounds

Local boffin, eccentric and all-round esoteric being Ronald Downing, 59, has begun work on his latest magnum opus, combining both music and sound production with a strenuous physical workout.

'Flying the Cement Mixer' is a work that will use samples that Downing creates of himself throwing a cement mixer down his stairs. 'I have bought ten of them, so I will repeatedly hurl them over the railings, to see what type of sound they produce. Then I will spend the next three years building an epic soundtrack around the sounds, which will eventually become the soundtrack to a student film that is only seen by three people.'

Barrington Busybody, Downing's next-door neighbour, said, 'It sounds like a nightmare to me, but hopefully it will keep the weirdo busy for a few years.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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