People Are Lining Up To Help Mitch McConnell Pack

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 1 August 2020

image for People Are Lining Up To Help Mitch McConnell Pack
"What did Nate Silver say?"

Americans are signing up at gas stations, grocery stores, airports, off-road, barns, on the internet, everywhere, volunteering to help Mitch McConnell pack up after he loses the November 3, election. Then he'll take his final trip back to his old Kentucky home.

After spending way too long in the Senate, Mitch will have several boxes of memorabilia to fill with a collection of junk. Kentucky has a population of about 4 million and McConnell was voted into office by about 2 million people.

McConnell managed to take over the reins of government and rooster about, followed by a group of long-faced men, stopping at every waiting microphone, ready to pontificate as though he were the president.

Nate Silver, who is today’s election Nostradamus, predicts that Mitch McConnell will lose his upcoming election to Amy McGrath.

A former Iraqi fighter pilot, Amy McGrath will fly to Washinton D.C. in her old fighter jet. She'll circle twice over the capital and land at Andrews Airfield, be sworn in, and do battle for the people of Kentucky, and the people of the United States, either Republican or Democrat. That's the difference.

How can she succeed? McGrath has flown 85 combat missions in Iraq, landed on aircraft carriers, at night, and during storms. The U.S. Senate will be a cinch.

As Donald Trump would say, “Stupid people don’t know this, but Mitch McConnell didn’t represent Kentucky…”

Yeah, what?

Forget it. Trump will be history too, sailing off to Mar-a-Lago or Moscow or North Korea or Saudi Arabia or Turkey or Brazil.

Ninety-five days left and subtracting.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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