Busker still no better

Written by Ben Macnair

Monday, 15 June 2020

image for Busker still no better
Oh, I love the sound of a G major chord on an untuned guitar.

Despite having months during lockdown to work on his chordal knowledge, his plectrum technique, his tuning, stage presence and projection, and his repertoire of songs, busker Shane Meadowfield is still no better.

The talentless troubadour, who has been inflicting his tuneless, toneless warblings on innocent passersby, and people who are already suffering by spending the best parts of their days in underpaid office jobs with an unpleasant boss, is quite clearly a sociopath.

Local boss, Cynthia Cartwright, of Glossop and Fops Solicitors, said: 'It is quite nauseating, it really is. We have the cream of Mithering on the Trent society here looking for a quick, but expensive divorce, after their old husband has found them in the greenhouse with Mellors the gardener, and we have this chap warbling the same bullshit songs. Felicity in the office said it was Ed Sheeran music he was playing, but I wouldn't care if he was playing Bach - it is just not in keeping with the surroundings.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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