Democrats Auctioning Off Pieces Of Trump’s Speech

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 7 February 2020

image for Democrats Auctioning Off Pieces Of Trump’s Speech
Pope bids one million.

Democrats are auctioning off pieces of Trump’s State of the Union speech that Nancy Pelosi so exquisitely tore apart. Pelosi said that Trump’s State of the Union speech displayed, “a state of mind that had no contact with reality.”

Translation: The guy is coo-coo.

While Trump was lashing out on his “evil and corrupt opponents,” (adding to the coo-coo diagnosis) a dedicated group of Democrats was quickly counting up the number of torn pieces of his repetitious and self-serving hour-and-a-half speech.

The Pope has offered a bid of one million dollars for the largest piece, while admonishing Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, for her failure to do a more patriotic job, and confetti it to satisfy the hundreds of thousands the opportunity for a piece.

The Democrats were ecstatic, wondering whether they should locate other copies of Trump's speech, and have Ms. Pelosi tear those up as well, then presenting it on YouTube.

“I’m a Catholic. I can not promote a falsehood.”

Reminded that her inaction might promote a falsehood of another kind: Four more years of Trump in the White House, she said:

“Get me more speeches. I’ll tear them to smithereens.”

Raising the numbers, bids are floating in from around the world, crashing the internet, (just like the Iowa caucus results) with Vegas joining the battle.

Hearing that money was being made on a piece or several pieces, or smithereens of pieces, of his property, Trump immediately demanded a cut in the profits, calling in his lawyers, Attorney General Barr and Giuliani. Also alerted were Donald Jr., Hannity, and Kanye West.

Kanye West? Go figure.

Similar to his rejection to produce witnesses or documents during his impeachment trial, Trump claimed that pieces of his State of the Union speech were executive privilege information, and could not be used without either his permission or at least a returned cut of 85% of the profits.

“I don’t think that’s going to work again, boss. Not the second time around.”

“Just snap Mitch McConnell into action. He’ll make the deal or we’ll primary him out of a job.”


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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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