Jewish Pink Floyd Fans Hold Memorial Candle Light Ceremony for Israel-Hater Roger Waters

Written by David E. Wesley

Wednesday, 5 February 2020

image for Jewish Pink Floyd Fans Hold Memorial Candle Light Ceremony for Israel-Hater Roger Waters

New York, NY - Hundreds of Jewish Pink Floyd fans gathered together in a synagogue on Manhattan's Upper East Side yesterday, to mourn the Roger Waters they thought they knew--a creative genius that did not unabashedly reveal himself to his fans and the general public as an Israel-hating, anti-Semitic, hypocritical megalomaniac.

Attorney Nate Schwartz, who was leading the procession, expressed his deep disappointment and disgust that the lyrical and musical force behind The Dark Side of the Moon, Animals, and The Wall, and the creative architect behind the band's elaborate cinematic stage shows, won't shut the fuck up about his biased stance against Israel in the 70-year-plus conflict between that country and the Palestinians.

"I was at my home in Ridgewood, New Jersey earlier today, burning all issues of the Roger Waters Fan Club magazine in a bonfire along with the CDs of Waters' solo work. My dog was howling as the fire blazed. It was very cathartic," said Nate.

Waters has been known lately as the leading voice of BDS - The Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions group, which aims to convince the world that Israel is a racist apartheid state. Waters has bullied other famous artists like Bon Jovi, Radiohead, and Lana Del Rey to cancel their scheduled performances in Israel.

It is quite appalling to the majority of Jewish Pink Floyd fans how Waters has such a biased stance on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict; never condemning terrorist group Hamas for launching rockets into Israel, or the brainwashing of Palestinian children to hate Jews and encouraging them to grow up to be suicide bombers. There are theories, though, that maybe Waters has lost his damn mind like Pink Floyd founder Syd Barrett, or maybe he secretly hates himself for making millions of dollars, and is not a Jew, or the most likely reason is that he subconsciously blames the Jews as the reason his father died at Anzio during World War II. Someone get this 78-year-old geezer into therapy to talk about his daddy issues!

Waters also gives Israel zero credit for turning a desert the size of New Jersey into the world's most technologically-innovative democracy in the Middle East, while their neighbors tried to destroy them several times. In fact, circuit boards in computers and projectors used in Waters' complex stage shows have parts that originated or were invented in Israel. He should be boycotting the equipment he uses, but that would go against his own narcissistic self-interest in spreading Jew-hatred around the world. As if the Jews aren't hated enough, huh? Now it comes disguised to you as a mind-blowing concert experience.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more