Man regrets betting his house on Poldark ending in a bloodbath

Written by Ben Macnair

Monday, 26 August 2019

image for Man regrets betting his house on Poldark ending in a bloodbath
Oh, he's an idiot, but he's my idiot.....

Chutney on the Fritz's local idiot, Gary Johnson, is beginning to regret betting his family home on historical documentary Poldark ending in a bloodbath.

'I was watching where they were building the school, in double-quick time, and just by the cliff, and I thought that they would kill off a few of the kids then, maybe the wet teacher, she would fall off it, and the two brothers who were married to each other would as well, in grief. Then I saw Captain Ross at the bottom of the mine, and I thought he was done for, I mean my Susan would be upset if he died, as he doesn't in the books, but there we are. Then I thought maybe Dwight Enys would go on a rampage. Honestly, if Geoffrey Charles does nothing tonight, I have lost the house and everything. I won't sleep tonight.'

Susan Johnson said 'I have an understanding with the betting shop owner, Barry. None of Gary's bets ever go through the system. If they did, we wouldn't have a house, and I wouldn't have my Wednesday afternoon fun with Barry, but don't tell Gary that. The betrayal by Barry, and the lack of proper betting would be far too much.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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