Child Tells Noisy Dad To Turn His Music Down

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 4 August 2019

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A 56-year-old man listening to music upstairs in his home was the victim of his killjoy children yesterday, when one of them bawled at the top of her voice for him to turn the volume down.

Moys Kenwood was 'giving it loads' whilst listening to 'The Mysteries of Twilight, Part 2', an epic 24-minute live track by Jah Wobble's Solaris, when, from the bottom of the stairs came the raised voice of 4-year-old Delma:

"Are you deaf?"

Kenwood stirred, but said nothing. Delma went on:

"Can you hear that?" she asked, in her most sarcastic voice. "Me and Norman are watching TV!"

Kenwood pretended to be asleep.

His daughter wasn't to be put off. Sardonically, she said:

"Can you turn it up a bit? There's a woman in Phnom Penh says she can't hear it!"

Upstairs, her dad cringed, and turned the volume down.

Downstairs, the door slammed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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