Hollywood doubts latest Superhero Supershagger will take off

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Friday, 19 July 2019

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Go, go Supershagger!

The crowded world of fictional superheroes just got even more crowded, as Marvel unveiled its latest superhero, mild-mannered Dwayne Dibley, who, by removing his false goofy teeth and glasses, transforms himself into Supershagger.

Supershagger can fly over buildings, run really fast, fire lightning bolts from his fingers, breathe underwater, make himself invisible at will, read minds, speak over 100 languages, and communicate with animals and birds. He is practically invincible, and can only be killed by shooting him with a bullet made of 50% gold and 50% silver on a lunar eclipse and fired by a gun made by a man with one leg.

But by far his coolest ability is that he can shag women in 30 seconds. This ability will earn him the nickname Prem Jack from his enemies, but fans (for many of whom half a minute is a long time) insist that this means he can shag many women in the same time a normal man shags one.

Supershagger will still wear his white underpants on the outside of his blue and red suit, which is a mixture of blue and red.

However, a Hollywood boss said, “30 seconds seems too little time for a proper plot, which requires at least 42 minutes. We might be interested, as long as he slows down a bit.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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