Cole Porter's Original lyrics for "You're the Top"

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 18 July 2019

UCLA Special Collections Library. Westwood Village, CA. An historian of popular music, poring through UCLA's vast collection of half-written songs and musicals by the American composer-lyricist Cole Porter, has uncovered what appears to be a fragment of an early version of Porter's cleverly written "You're the Top."

While Porter's name does not appear anywhere on the single page, and since the lines are typed and therefore cannot be compared with Porter's handwriting, the damaged "s" on the keyboard on which this version was typed matches a few other typed pages of songs that have Porter's name clearly printed on them.

Why Porter abandoned this somewhat raunchy version for the one that was published is unclear, but the fragment clearly bears Porter's humor:


You're the pits! You're a mausoleum

You're the --its! you're a sick No-see-um

You're a voice off key in a parody of Faust

You're a hopeless nitwit, an unforgiving twit

You're always soused!


You serve slop, you're a junked Pierce Arrow

Call a cop, you're not straight and narrow

You're a burst balloon, a dumb baboon, a mop

So my Baby I must tell you

You're a flop!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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