Death Row Convict Escapes

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 3 March 2019

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A Death Row convict at a Louisiana jail, who left a terrible trail of violent crime behind him, including six gruesome murders, and who was due to face execution by lethal injection on Saturday, has escaped.

Billy Bob Jackson, 48, arrested by police in 2003, had remained in isolation on Death Row since then, and had never uttered a single word of remorse. Indeed, Jackson had always claimed his victims, themselves, were members of a murdererous gang who killed his wife and 4-year-old son, and who were responsible for several other unsolved local murders. By murdering these killers, he said, he had performed a public service.

When evidence subsequently came to light last year to support his claim, Jackson's case was reviewed, but, due to the fact that the Law is an Ass, his conviction and sentence were upheld.

And so, at 6:30am yesterday, Jackson was taken from his cell to the execution room, where he was strapped into a specially-constructed chair with restraints. He said a short prayer to himself as these restraints were applied.

A doctor then administered a lethal injection, and Billy Bob's spirit was released from the vile existence he had had to endure for the last 16 years, and rose up to meet those of his waiting wife and son.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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