Stabbing Now More Popular Than Slapping Someone In The Chops

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 7 January 2019

image for Stabbing Now More Popular Than Slapping Someone In The Chops
Ever so popular at the moment!

A study on knife crime based in London, has concluded that stabbing is now more popular than harmlessly slapping someone in the chops.

Stabbing, which used to be seen as a 'last resort', has made giant leaps and bounds in the recent past, and is now the preferred method of violence of not only murderous psychotics, but also gang members, bored teenagers, and schoolchildren.

Other ways of teaching somebody a lesson, such as a cuff around the ear, a poke in the eye, a punch in the face, a bicycle chain around the head, a crow bar over the skull, and even 'a right good kicking', appear to have fallen by the wayside, as the stakes have risen exponentially.

A kick in the bollox, once extremely popular, is now almost unheard of.


WARNING: Knives are extremely dangerous. Please make sure you get an adult's permission before tooling-up and taking a knife out of the house.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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