Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 31 January 2019


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Covington Catholic High School's Nick Sandmann Has Just The Sort Of Face You'd Like To Plant Your Fist In, Says Man
Or the heel of your boot, and really DIG it in!

A teenage boy who stood smirking in the face of a Native American elder whilst the latter sang the Indigenous People's Walking song at the Lincoln memorial, has the kind of face you'd like to plant your fist in, claims a man with violent tendencies.

Nick Sandmann, a pupil at the Covington Catholic High School in Kentucky, stood amongst the massed ranks of his friends as Omaha elder, Nathan Phillips, performed the song.

Sandmann, himself, the cowardly, smarmy bastard descendant of immigrants, stared straight down the barrel of his nose, which would sound great being crunched under the heel of a hob-nail boot, as his brave buddies filmed the event on their phones, before posting the footage on social media, where it went viral.

Not surprisingly, he has received death threats.

"Regardless of the truth behind Sandmann's apparently intimidating stance on 18 January, however, he has the kind of clever-cunt face you'd like to demolish with a baseball bat to the forehead, or by driving farm machinery backwards and forwards over it, again and again. And again," said social commentator, Moys Kenwood, 55.

"His introduction to an insane dentist, such as the Laurence Olivier character in the 1976 film, 'Marathon Man', might not be altogether unjustified, either," he added, looking sinister.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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