Marks & Spencer Staff Barricade Themselves Inside Shop

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 15 January 2019

image for Marks & Spencer Staff Barricade Themselves Inside Shop
M&S staff wearing the spring collection, fighting closure in Hull

Staff at a Marks and Spencer store have taken the extraordinary step of barricading themselves in the shop, to prevent it being closed down.

The store, in Hull, East Yorkshire, is one of seventeen M&S branches which is earmarked for closure as part of a 5-year plan to cut costs.

Immediately after this afternoon's news of the closures, staff held a five-minute meeting during a tea break, then sprang into action, boarding up the main Whitefriargate entrance, and forcing customers already in the shop to leave by the single-door entrance in Alfred Gelder Street.

A delivery driver parked his articulated vehicle across the front of the store, and let the air out of his tyres, in a show of defiance, and some staff formed a rather glamorous picket line outside.

One member of staff, menswear department supervisor, Barbara Anarchy, said:

"We are not closing down! We will be open as usual forever!"

Shoppers were understanding, and even supportive, of the rebellious staff move. One cusomer, Millie Savage, 81, who was there to pick up a bargain in the sales on some ladies' bloomers in pink nylon, said:

"I've been coming to Markses every Tuesday for six decades. Where else can I get quality underwear like these?"

And store manager, Mark Spencer, told us:

"There will be a riot if this shop shuts. I, personally, will lead this occupation of the premises, even though the shop isn't due to close down until 2022."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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