Dylan Quits Server Farm; Says, "I Ain't Gonna Work On Google's Farm No More"

Funny story written by King David

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

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image for Dylan Quits Server Farm; Says, "I Ain't Gonna Work On Google's Farm No More"
A Plant On A Google Server Farm

Bob Dylan, spokesperson for a generation and known for his iconoclastic and poetic balladry, said today that he will no longer work for Google. The multi-billion dollar International server company said that they hired Dylan six months ago to manage a data base for them.

Eye witnesses say that the eccentric folk singer walked off the job today after complaining of boredom and a morally compromising work environment.

"You read the Spoof articles," he said. "You know what's going on here."

The aging folk singer was referring to the recent Spoof articles about server waste lagoons overflowing at the company's server farm in Lenoir and creating a morally compromising work environment.

Clean-up workers have found everything from nude pictures of Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan to Spoof articles by Buck E. Filbert and other Spoof writers and graphic footage of executions of former dictators, floating around in the lagoons.

"It's enough to make you sick," said sanitation worker, Cletus McGloin. "We had to bring out the masks and rubber gloves for this job."

Dylan reported taking the job not for the money, but the experience. He said that success can sometimes breed complacency and he just wanted to see if he could identify with another generation and possibly pick up some new song material.

"I've always lived on the cutting edge," the folk singer said. "I like to go where the action is."

It was reported recently in the Spoof that server waste lagoons in Lenoir have overflowed due to the amount of rainfall recently in the North Carolina mountains. Workers reported walking off their jobs with the same complaint, a morally compromising work environment.

"We're family people here," said worker, Buddy Ebsen Salt. "Our families come first. And we feel that some of the images that are currently being grown on Google's server farm are unfit for even our dogs to look at. We'd rather chop wood than work for Google."

Dylan was said to have come out with a new release of "Maggie's Farm."

The first verse is as follows:

I ain't gonna work on Google's farm no more.
No, I ain't gonna work on a server farm no more.
Well, I stare at my computer,
Stretch my wrists and feel the pain.
I'm gonna have carpel tunnel.
It's gonna catch up with me someday.
Oh, there goes another picture of Britney Spears through the port
I ain't gonna work on a server farm no more....

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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