Lembit Sets His Sights On Gold For Britain

Funny story written by Duff

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

image for Lembit Sets His Sights On Gold For Britain
Duffus Hornswoggler-Phipps. Keeping it under his hat and pictured in training yesterday

MP and Cheeky boy, Lembit Opik, has been chosen as the British representative for the international 'Which public servant has the stupidest name games'.

A cock-a-hoop Lembit told us:

"I am a lucky boy - I am a lucky boy - my bird's a cracking bint - my bird's a cracking bint. But seriously, I used to hate my parents for giving me such a strange name but now I think that it's my fortune"

Lembit is hoping to take gold for Britain but competition is tough. There are some particularly stupid entries from America and reports that a local minor official from the mid-west called Duffus Hornswoggle - Phipps, having been installed as the bookie's favourite, have reached us here at Spoof Towers.

A boy named Sue is said to be well fancied too but it's thought that his short temper could well be his Achilles heel and ultimately his undoing.

Minger Campbell, Lembit's boss, tabled a commons motion today wishing his colleague the best of luck in his efforts for the nation.

He told us:

"Lembit's name is so bloody stupid that I am sure he stands a great chance out there"

The Spoof joins Minger in his well-wishing and we'll be bringing you daily reports on all the action once the competition gets under way, following what's sure to be a preposterous opening ceremony tomorrow.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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