'Jesus Guides My Iraq War' Says George Bush in State of the Union Address

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

image for 'Jesus Guides My Iraq War' Says George Bush in State of the Union Address
George's Rubber Ducky looks a lot like Jesus

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- President George W. Bush claimed that Jesus Christ guides his Iraq oil war in his sixth State of the Union address which he delivered on Wednesday evening. The speech was given in an atmosphere of crisis and demoralization permeating his Republican administration.

"Yup, Congress should support my troop surge in Iraq," asserted Bush, "cause Jesus himself told me to do it."

Bush gave his address for the first time to try to sway a sceptical Democratic-led Congress which realizes the US is experiencing disaster in Iraq as it attempts to seize Iraqi oilfields for Exxon Mobil and Chevron Texaco.

"Jesus is a Zionist," claimed Bush. "Christ appears to me regularly with those cute little horns on the side of his head and wearing a black cape. Jesus has red eyes and a goatee and a pointed tail, and when he speaks to me I can see the fire and brimstone and smoke of his breath."

Vice President Dick Cheney and Republican Senator John McCain confirmed to reporters later that they also saw Bush's Jesus regularly and followed his advice closely.

Bush is the most despised occupant of the White House since Richard Nixon at the height of the Watergate crisis according to recent opinion polls.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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