Toilet troubles plague BB backroom staff

Funny story written by Matt 'Crusty' Morgan

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

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Hair Today - Antons secret haul as sold on E-Bay

Further trouble has hit the seemingly jinxed Celebrity Big Brother House last night as a behind the scenes technician has been caught interfering with the celeb's lavatories.

The operative who cannot be fully named for legal reasons, believed to be working on the show as part of a Community Punishment order, was caught retrieving what has been described as body matter, including ancillary hair and unflushed waste from facilities in the house.

The young man, refereed to as Anton, was thought to have been auctioning the matter on the online auction site ebay. A researcher for The Spoof has managed to secure what is thought to be pubic hair discarded from Dirk Benedict for the auction price of £2.99. Just above the reserve price of £2.00.

It had been suggested that Anton had also been behind the theft of toilet tissue from the house in order to boost his haul.

It is thought that this latest in troubles for the Channel 4 show will result in the celeb pooper scooper breaking his Community Punishment order and possibly having hand back his haul. A spokesman for Ms. Goody commented earlier: "it's disgusting and it ain't right, he should give back all the sh** he's taken from Jade", a sentiment that has been echoed by the Bishop of Southwark, a close friend of ex celebrity housemate Donny Tourette.

Channel 4 say they will issue a statement as soon as the facts become clear and they would try to avoid any smearing from within the organisation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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