Safety Agencies: Put Brakes On Pokemon Go

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Friday, 15 July 2016

image for Safety Agencies: Put Brakes On Pokemon Go
Another crash blamed on innattentive driving due to Pokemon Go.

The US's National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is proposing a ban on Pokemon Go after a 500% increase in traffic accidents since the game's release.

Accidents involving pedestrians have increased the most according to NTHSA Spokesman Molton Pine. Pine explained the call for a ban on Pokemon Go.

"We're seeing such a huge increase in accidents and even fatalities, that's why we're recommending an immediate ban on the game within 350 feet of any roadway. The game makers can take their existing data and player location information to not allow people to play if they are within that distance."

In England the NTIS has proposed it's own ban on Pokemon Go within 300 feet of any street or road open to automobiles.

Fans are ridiculing the move to enact any kind of ban. Staci Leppwurst of Ulverston, Cumbria, told a local reporter how the ban will effectively kill the game in the UK.

"If you can't play within 300 feet of the street that pretty much closes off all city areas to play except for parks. It's going to be much more dangerous if everyone is out playing Pokemon in the countryside, because the parks will be too crowded."

The company that released the game has no plans to comply with requests to reprogram it so far, but could be forced to make changes if any state or national entities can effectively enforce a total ban.

Business Backlash
While many businesses have welcomed the game and Pokemon Go players, just as many businesses are now fighting against the ubiquitous game. Upscale businesses have placed signs denying permission for people to play the game on their property after swarms of players have trampled landscaping and blocked traffic at stores and restaurants.

Two store owners in Denver's Cherry Creek were fined this week by the FCC for using mobile phone jammers to frustrate Pokemon players and keep them away. Even with blanket cell tower coverage of the Denver area by phone carriers, mobile clients were unable to use their phones in the 200 block of University. Mobile service providers reported the problem to the FCC which investigated and discovered the jamming devices.

Police and federal agents were seen removing electronic equipment from Stilleto restaurant and Fashion Blade Apparel. Both stores had previously called police about Pokemon Go fans not respecting their no play requests.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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