New York - Barack Obama has been outed as Kanye West's birth father in a DNA test published today.
Findings from New York's Seedy Sign Eye Mammorial Hospital's paternity division reveal Kanye's actual father is the President.
And the rapper's real birth mother none other than Kris Jenner, supposed mother of Kim Kardashian.
Which suggests the entire freakin Kimye circus is one hell of a train wreck and karmically programed to hit the skids.
Geneticists who unraveled the deception have queried if a humungous DC cover-up has protected the Kardashians.
Or maybe a series of deals brokered by the Rev Al Sharpton and Michelle Obama's prenup lawyers.
So just who is Kanye married to now that his official genome has been outed as a piece of piss?
Step forward the offspring of Madonna and George Clooney, actual DNA parents of Kim Kardashian and architects of the entire reality-bending Kimye scam.
You couldn't make it up if you tried.