Town plans drone kill

Funny story written by Ray Bellew

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

According to an internet report, residents of Menace, Minnesota, passed an ordinance making drone hunting legal. This intrigued me, so I placed a call to the mayor of Menace.

"Mr. Mayor," I said, " tell me about your plan to hunt drones."

"Well, it's really pretty simple. "We are going to issue hunting licenses and then shoot those intrusive little bastards out of the sky."

"Do you have any plans for the drone opener?"

"We do. To help us kick it off, we are inviting members of the Minnesota Sharpshooters Club and about 150 South Dakota pheasant hunters."

"Are there any special drones you would like to bag?"

"Yes. We are going to put a thousand dollar bounty on the Burrito Bomber, The Mac Attacker and the Flying Slider.
And, after we knock these stinky pests from the sky, we will gather around a huge fire, drink lots of beer and beat the downed drones with clubs and baseball bats."

I said goodbye and called Willie Peters, the guy in charge of the Flying Slider. "Willie," I said, "I suppose you've heard about the Menace situation."

"I have, and I'm making plans to deal with those warmongering sons of bitches."

"Such as?"

"Let me put it this way. Those South Dakota pheasant hunters might be able to shoot down a defenseless bird, but they will be no match for a drone armed with nuclear tipped protron torpedoes."

"That sounds a bit drastic."

"Look, delivering hamburgers is serious business. People want to satisfy their crave."

"What about the Burito Bomber and the Mac Attacker?"

"As we speak, they planning a joint strike against the Minnesota Sharpshooters Club. And, just for good measure, the Hovering Hot Dog is on standby, and it has the capability of squirting radioactive ketchup on any remaining survivors."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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