Jimmy Fallon Revealed To Be In Mid-Fifties

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

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Last night, Jimmy Fallon made a joke that totally bombed. He was booed, during his monologue, when Fallon talked about the possible gender of Chelsea Clinton's baby.

"If it's a girl, it will get some of Chelsea's old hand-me-downs. And if it's a boy, it will get some of Hillary's." At that point no one laughed and there were many boos and catcalls from the audience.

Fallon attempted to rescue the joke. "It's a little pantsuit! It's a little pantsuit."

Dead silence.

These are off-the-mark jokes for someone who was chosen to host The Tonight Show because, in terms of late night shows, he is youngish and supposedly hip.

To suggest that Hillary is so manly because of her man-clothes she's always man-wearing might have been funny 12 years ago. But Hillary pants-suit jokes are really dated.

Fallon totally lost the audience when he said, "Get it? Dresses are for girls, pantsuits are for boys." The response from the audience was loud groans and more catcalls.

At this point Steve Higgins, Fallon's announcer/right-hand-man, left his podium and walked over to Fallon. Higgins, who seems to be trying to look like Steve Allen of yesteryear, had been rumored to hold deep animosity toward his boss and supposedly was about to be fired.

Higgins, angrily muttering something, continued walking to the stage and proceeded to rip off a mask Fallon was wearing, revealing a wrinkled man in his late 50's.

"This is why he tells such dated jokes. He can't help thinking they're funny," shouted Higgins to the audience as he exited the stage.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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